SelfhelpMagazine Newsletter (TM)
Vol. 9 No. 4 April 5, 2003
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T A B L E O F C O N T E N T S
1. Feature Article # 1:
"Wartime Stress Survival Tips"
by Mark Gokin, LICSW
2. Feature Article # 2:
"Can't Sleep? 15 Tips You Can Try"
by Connie Saindon,
MA, MFCC, CTS
3. SHM Special Feature: Virtual Meditation
4. Updated Discussion Forums
5. Psychtoons
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SHM FEATURE ARTICLE # 1:
"Wartime Stress Survival Tips"
by Mark Gokin, LICSW
Here are some survival tips and strategies:
1. Engage in Anticipatory Grieving. For some,
this will entail active protesting or rallying,
pro or con. For others, the expression of anger or
anxiety needs to be private, prayerful and quiet.
Whatever your mode of expression, know that you
may be an emotional roller coaster racing through
highs and lows of a war-charged grief cycle.
Memories of previous loss -- not necessarily
war-related -- may be stirred by our current
crisis. This is not a logical experience but a
psycho-logical one. And if, or when, you sense you
need an ear, a shoulder, a hug, please...reach
out. Or touch someone who does. And don't forget
the kids. They, especially, need an adult pillar
if not, also, a teddy bear, doll or pet to help
manage separation stress and their runaway
imagination.
2. Find Strength in Numbers. Whether it's a
dear friend who lost her 20 year old daughter in a
car crash or the disparate folks grappling with
life most people long for some group solace and
support. Peers who are there or who have been
there can truly be "Compassionate Friends."
Despite wartime slogans and solidarity, KNOWING
or, even, knowing the stress of war introduces us,
even if only for a fleeting moment, to our
absolutely indivisible, frightful, existential
aloneness. Try not to run or hide, unless you
must. Better to stand fast, then feel and
share...or share and feel.
3. Adapt "The Four 'R's of Burnout Recovery.
Activities that are meant to be restorative after
the fact may be therapeutically applied in
anticipation of the battlefront:
1. Running. Start a regimen of running,
jogging, brisk walking, or endorphins pumping,
jumping routine. It's not "runner's high" but a
runner's calm that's biochemically induced. This
chemical influx helps slow a racing mind and helps
lift a sluggish mood. Also, aerobic exercise is
great for grounding you when feeling vulnerable or
when life feels uncertain and up in the air.
There's a beginning and end point with a tangible
sense of control and accomplishment.
2. Reading. In my darkest hours, I always
return to reading humorous stories, for the sense
of absurdity and for the endorphins. As the
comedic genius, Charlie Chaplin, observed: The
paradoxical thing about making comedy is that it's
precisely the tragic, which arouses the funny. We
have to laugh due to our sense of helplessness in
the face of natural forces (and in order) not to
go crazy. Also, laughter has been likened to
"inner jogging." Laughing with gusto is like
turning your body into a big vibrator giving vital
organs a brief but hardy internal massage.
3. Retreating. Now most associations to
the word "retreat" in a military context are
not
so positive. However, for me the word means
finding a refuge, a sanctum, a safe haven where
one can tend to wounds, reflect on the current
psychosocial upheavals and listen for our inner
core, the emotional essence of who we are. Here
one discovers or, at least, realizes the need for
a higher power - a spiritual and communal
connection with nature, humanity and/or the great
mysterious beyond.
4. Writing. Especially in the void of
wartime separation, writing (or recording a
message) to loved ones becomes the vital bridge to
heart and home. But writing also can be a source
of self-discovery and a tool for keeping the
faith. Journaling through angst and loss is a
time-honored tradition. And contemporary research
indicates that writing, especially when we take
the time to express and analyze our emotions can
help us hold on in a stormy sea of stress.
So, I will close with words penned years ago during a
double-edged turbulent period of my life: Whether
the loss is a key person, a desired position or a
powerful illusion, each deserves the respect of a
mourning. The pit in the stomach the clenched
fists and quivering jaw, the anguished sobs prove
catalytic in time. In mystical fashion, like
Spring upon Winter, the seeds of dissolution bear
fruitful renewal.
With thoughts of grace and, as always...
Practice Safe Stress!
Mark Gorkin is a Licensed Clinical Social Worker,
speaker, trainer and "Online Psychohumorist,"
known throughout the web, AOL, and the nation as
"The Stress Doc." Specialty areas: organizational
change and conflict, team building, creativity and
humor. (1616 18th Street, NW #312, Washington, DC
20009-2530, (202) 232-8662).
To find more articles by this author, run a search on his last
name on this:
Want to comment? Express Yourself!
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SHM FEATURE ARTICLE # 2:
"Can't Sleep? 15 Tips You Can Try"
by Connie Saindon, MA, MFCC, CTS
In animal sleep, a sloth sleeps 20 hours a day while a
porpoise sleeps half a brain at a time. Birds do not sleep
and rabbits and squirrels sleep 10-14 hours a day. People
need a wide variation of sleep and can range from 1-10 hours
a day. There is more need for sleep at birth, while as we
age our sleep needs are less and lighter.
Sleep problems are a common symptom for people who are
recovering from traumatic events. One's usual methods for
falling asleep may no longer work. Disturbing thoughts of
reenactment, rescue or reunion may interfere with one's
sleep cycle. Nightmares and sleep terrors occur in response
to adjusting to shattered realties.
Practice "Good Sleep Hygiene." Here are some tips for you to
try:
1. No reading or watching TV in bed. These are waking
activities. If your insomnia is chronic, it is not a good
thing to do, says Dr. Alex Clerk, head of Stanford Sleep
Disorder Clinic in Palo Alto.
2. Go to bed when you're sleepy-tired, not when it's time
to go to bed by habit.
3. Wind down during the second half of the evening before
bedtime. 90 minutes before bed, don't get involved in any
kind of anxiety provoking activities or thoughts.
4. Do some breathing exercises or try to relax major
muscle groups, starting with the toes and ending with your
forehead.
5. Your bed is for sleeping, if you can't sleep after
15-20 minutes, get up and do something relaxing.
6. Have your room cool rather than warm.
7. Don't count sheep, counting is stimulating.
8. Exercise in the afternoon or early evening, but no
later than 3 hours before bedtime.
9. Don't over-eat, and eat 2-3 hours before bedtime.
10. Don't nap during the day.
11. If you awake in the middle of the night and can't get
back to sleep within 30 minutes, get up and do something
else.
12. Have No coffee, alcohol or cigarettes two to three
hours before bedtime.
13. If you have disturbing dreams or nightmares add an
ending that you want.
14. Schedule a half-hour writing about your concerns and
hopes in a journal every night to free up your sleep from
processing your dilemmas as much.
15. Listen to calming music or a self-hypnosis tape for
sleep.
If sleep problems persist, contact your physician or mental
health professional. Let them know what is happening in your
life. Your problem may have either organic or psychological
contributors. Sleep disorders are classified as chronic if
they persist more than one month. There are of two major
categories of sleep disorders. They are Dyssomnias -- when
there are problems with the amount, quality or timing of
sleep and Parasomnias -- when there are abnormal events
occurring during sleep stages.
Sleep difficulties can mean that their is an underlying
problem that needs treatment. J. Christain Gillin, M.D.
states that most patients that have a sleep disorder have an
underlying psychiatric disorder. The different kind of sleep
disorders include insomnia, hypersomnia-excessive daytime
sleeping, Nightmare Disorder, Narcolepsy-irresistible
attacks of sleep, Sleep-apnea and Sleepwalking.
References:
Diagnostic and Statistical Manual of Mental Disorders,
Fourth Edition.
Trauma and Recovery by Judith Lewis Herman, M.D. Ted
Rynearson, M.D., Virginia Mason Medical Center, Seattle,
Washington.
Connie Saindon, M.A., MFT, CTS is a licensed Marriage and
Family Therapist and Certified Trauma Specialist.
To contact her for services and consultation, She can be
reached at 7850 Mission Center Court, Suite 208, San Diego,
CA 92108. Her phone number is (619)295-8595 FAX 619-295-8696
Want to comment on this article? Express Yourself!
To find more articles by this author, run a search on her
last name from this page:
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SHM SPECIAL FEATURE:
"Virtual Meditation:
An opportunity for reverie,
contemplation and serenity."
We are fortunate to offer you "Virtual
Meditation," a collection of phenomenal and
soothing images. What you do is select a calming
photograph to view.
There are many things you might experience.
Looking at these beautiful pictures themselves
might bring joy or pleasant memories to you.
You might find that you relax by taking a "mental
vacation" for a short while to the site you
select below.
You might meditate for a while.
If you want to relax and meditate,
select a calming photograph. Sit back
and relax. Breathe gently, slowly and
calmly. Imagine you are there and
that you are feeling good and calm.
Allow your imagination to take you into a more and
more relaxed state.
The goal is to take a "break" from the stresses of
the day by slowing down and calming down so that
you become rested and more ready to deal with life
events. If you are new to this kind of relaxation
exercise, it may take some practice. Keep on doing
it. It will become easier and easier.
Simply click on the category below to start the slide show. Each page
contains a soothing image, automatically arranged
to change without your having to do a thing. Sit
back, relax, and allow yourself to experience the
essence of being alive. Here are the categories of
images you may select:
Landscapes, sunrises, and sunsets
Waterfalls and streams
Mountains, deserts, and snow scenes
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P S Y C H T O O N S
Remember: * Laughter is nature's best medicine *
For new funny cartoon pages visit our PsychToons
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SelfhelpMagazine.com Disclaimer
------------------------------------------------
This newsletter is not to be taken as psychological advice.
It is not intended for you to use in making life-altering
decisions related to medical treatment, psychotherapy, or
personal health habits without specific communication between
you and your physician, psychotherapist, or other appropriate
health-care professional. The opinions expressed do not
necessarily reflect those of SelfhelpMagazine.com or its
staff.
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Marlene M. Maheu, Ph.D.
http://selfhelpmagazine.com/about/staff/drm.html
SelfhelpMagazine.com, Editor-In-Chief
Teresa Raymond
http://selfhelpmagazine.com/about/staff/teresa.html
SelfhelpMagazine.com, Assistant Editor
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Copyright 1994-2003 by Pioneer Development Resources, Inc.
Permission is granted to reproduce or distribute this
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